I Wouldn't Say Goodbye
by ducky76
Summary: Oneshot UxY. A week after Xana deletes Lyoko, Ulrich has to go home and leave Kadic for good. Unfortunately, it's his last night there, and Ulrich hasn't told anyone but Odd yet.


**Eh.. just a quick one-shot I wrote when I was bored. I don't know if it's all that great. It takes place a week after the season three finale.**

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_I'd like to tell you that I would do it differently. That if I had one more day I would do everything right. But I know that isn't true. I'd make all the same mistakes. That is except one. I wouldn't say goodbye_. –Dr. Brown, _Everwood_

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It had never been easy for Ulrich to say goodbye. The first time he'd ever had to say goodbye to someone had been when his childhood friend Kyle had moved away in first grade. Sure, his parents had said, 'Oh you'll see him again,' but Ulrich hadn't been too sure. And he hated not knowing for sure. He hated it even more, though, that he never did see Kyle again.

He remembered back when he had been 8, when his parents had first sent him to live at Kadic; he'd complained and cried, afraid that he would miss his mother and father too much. Of course, after that, he'd gone on to be very used to long periods of time away from his parents. Most recently he'd even gone more than a year without seeing them, having gone to stay with Odd over break instead. Kadic was his home, and he considered his friends his real family. How could he say goodbye to them now?

He resented his father for taking him away from them. It had been a week since they'd all fought their losing battle against Xana-possessed William, whom was presumably dead, and he'd known the entire week that it would be his final one there. He hadn't told anyone but Odd until that day.

With everything that was going on, he just hadn't been able to find a right moment to bring it up. School was hectic between William's disappearance and preparations for the Winter semi-formal. His friends were also carrying the load of having to find a way to fight Xana on the internet. What difference would it make in all of the craziness if one person had to leave? He didn't want to bother them with his problems.

The Winter dance was that night, his final night there. He'd asked Yumi to go with him. At first she'd been reluctant, afraid that it wasn't a good time for frivolous activities like a dance, but she'd agreed after seeing how badly Ulrich wanted her to go with him.

Ulrich finished buttoning his dress shirt, choosing to go tie-less to the dance. He looked over at where Odd was lying on his bed petting Kiwi. "I'm going to go get Yumi for the dance," he said. "Are you going?"

"I don't know," Odd said dully. "Are you going to tell Yumi? And what about Jeremie and Aeltia?"

Ulrich hesitated in responding, and Odd sighed. "You're leaving in the morning and you still haven't told them."

"I'll tell them at the dance," Ulrich said. "You should go. Jeremie and Aelita will be there."

"Honestly, I'm not in the mood to," Odd said.

Ulrich nodded. "Ok, but it is my last night here. It would be nice to hang out with all of you."

"Yea, because I'm sure it will be such a fun time," Odd said sarcastically. "They are going to be pissed when they find out you've known all week."

"…Please come."

"If I change my mind I'll see you there," Odd said in annoyance.

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Odd didn't show up, and Ulrich suspected that it had something to do with being angry at him. He didn't dwell on it, however. It was his last night with Yumi, and she looked gorgeous in her red dress and her hair in curls. Jeremie and Aelita were dancing near them, and they would all occasionally switch partners. The girls mainly did all of the dancing as Jeremie and Ulrich gracelessly tried to keep up. Ulrich had always sworn that when it came to dancing he had two left feet. And Jeremie was just awkward anyway. 

It was fun, but the entire time Ulrich felt a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, especially when Yumi smiled at him, not knowing that he'd be gone the next day. He couldn't find it in him to ruin their fun yet. In everything that had gone wrong lately, they all deserved some fun.

The fast songs took a break as a slower one began. Yumi and Aelita both stopped their dancing, hot and out of breath. Aelita turned to Jeremie. "I'm thirsty. Let's get something to drink."

Jeremie nodded and the pair went off the dance floor.

Yumi turned to Ulrich with a smile. "So…"

"You want to dance still?" Ulrich asked.

"Yes," she replied. Ulrich put his hands on her waist and stepped closer to her. She put her own arms behind his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. He felt like they fit perfectly, and he loved the way she smelled. Lavender. How would he ever live without that smell?

"Where is Odd?" Yumi asked, interrupting his depressed thoughts.

"He didn't want to come," Ulrich said. "He's been in a bad mood ever since Lyoko got deleted."

"I'm glad you convinced us all to come," Yumi said. "I think we all needed to take some time to relax. And I'm having a great time."

"Yumi, you remember what you said a while back?" Ulrich said. "About our relationship?"

Yumi pulled back and looked at him. "Ulrich-"

"I just… I know it was a rollercoaster," Ulrich told her. "I know that everything was hectic and crazy and that it drove you nuts never knowing what to think. But I wouldn't have had it any other way. Truthfully, I don't think I could have. Being around you makes me do things I normally wouldn't do… sometimes really stupid things." He paused, thinking. "If I could, there is one thing I would change though."

Yumi studied his eyes in confusion. "What's that?" she asked.

"When you said that we could only be friends," Ulrich told her, "I should have said no. I should have fought. I should have told you that I couldn't bear to be just friends. That every second I'm near you it hurts because everything about you makes my heart race and stop at the same time. That you make me nervous, and I still always want to be closer to you. That whenever you talk I want to kiss you. And that… being anything less than what I want to be to you is the most painful thing in the entire world." He shifted from one foot to another nervously. "I'm sorry that I was always so bad at being honest about how I feel Yumi. And I'm sorry that I'm putting this all on you now. I just thought that you should know."

Yumi nodded, but she didn't quite understand why he was bringing it all up now. It seemed so sincere and apologetic, but she saw no reason for him to be apologetic.

"Being at Kadic, I didn't really do much for myself," Ulrich said. "I'm a lousy student. I don't think that it's ever going to change. Maybe I'm just stupid… I don't know. I guess I'm just kind of a failure at everything, but when we were fighting Xana, I felt like I had a purpose. I was actually doing something right."

"I don't think you're a failure," Yumi told him.

Ulrich smiled at her slightly. "I wish my parents agreed with you," he joked. "But now Xana won. And on top of that my grades are worse than ever."

"I'm sorry, but I'm kind of confused," Yumi said. "Why are you saying this all now?"

Ulrich stared at her, silently preparing himself to tell her the truth. "I just…I want you to know…" He hesitated as he was lost in her gorgeous brown eyes. He found that he was unable to do it. He couldn't tell her that he was saying goodbye. "I haven't made anything for myself here... except you."

"Ulrich," Yumi said. "You've made plenty for yourself. You're an amazing person." She rested her head back on his shoulder. "I agree about us… I wouldn't take any of it back… not ever. Every moment we're together is just…" She sighed. "They're the best moments of my life.

Ulrich leaned his head against hers and closed his eyes.

"You can still fight for me, Ulrich. It's never too late."

_I'd fight to the ends of the Earth for you, if I could_, he thought. He said nothing, however. He didn't want to say goodbye to her. He'd stop by Aelita and Jeremie's rooms the next morning to say goodbye to them, and he'd have Odd tell Yumi for him. _I only wish you could know that I love you with all my heart._

Saying goodbye was just too hard.

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**The Everwood quote at the beginning was one I heard right after writing this and it just sounded perfect, because it's a lot like what I wrote Ulrich saying. So I figured I should put it in there... plus it's where I got the title from.**


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